A few nights ago, an 83 year old family member died, peacefully, and I had a vivid dream:
I was in a strange place, a very large place with lots of shop-front like locales, and space beyond imagination. Locally, things were contained but the expanse was like the Universe – beyond eyesight, beyond my imagination, it just went on and on and I could attend only to the local scene. But that scene kept getting bigger.
Initially, it seemed that my job was to take care of two large round tables (they would have seated 16 easily) with green tablecloths. I had to clear the tables, make them clean again, and re-stock them. But I couldn’t do it. Either they kept getting piled with new debris, or I couldn’t get to the supplies that were to go on the tables. Alternately, I felt obligated to the job and frustrated that I could not do it.
And so I wandered a bit. I saw a dear friend who died some time ago. She turned to look at me but did not come nearer. She looked small because of the distance between us, and at home.
As I wandered, I found plateaus of shopping mall type expanse and dirt banks beside the shops that could not be scrambled up because there was no foot/hand hold and they were just that little bit too high. So I had to get around them which meant moving on, to other places, all in an attempt to get back to the tables and do my job.
Eventually, I figured it out. I did not need to be confused or tied to what I thought were my obligations. I needed to accept the situation and work with it, and with that recognition, I felt freed and was able to move into the new surroundings with an open heart and a new confidence.